


Heavy

by HarleysNogitsune



Category: Arrow (TV 2012), The Flash (TV 2014)
Genre: Angst, Dark Barry Allen, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Fluff and Angst, Fluff and Smut, Grief/Mourning, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, Slow Burn
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-12-13
Updated: 2019-04-10
Packaged: 2019-09-17 16:38:07
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 10
Words: 4,346
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16978167
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HarleysNogitsune/pseuds/HarleysNogitsune
Summary: On earth 56, an interdimensional hired murderer known as the green arrow (Barry Allen), gets a new target to hit: the doppleganger of his late wife, Iris West.





	1. The dark abyss

**Author's Note:**

> I got inspired by Barry rocking that green arrow suit, so in this fanfic he is not the flash.  
> This is my first fanfic and english is not my first language so please don't be too cruel.  
> Constructive criticism is most welcome.

**Chapter 1: The dark abyss**

  
His sweat shined all over his naked body, his twitches and spasms had dishevelled the sheets of the now soaked bed. Heavy breathing and the screech of oxydated springs were the only sounds present, but in his mind, a loud nightmare played.

 _He was there looking at the dark abyss that were her eyes, they matched with the starry mantle above their heads. That dark, beautiful abyss, just like the one inside his head._  
_His life hadn't been a bed of roses, their parents murder when he was nine pushed him to become a vigilante, always looking for his parents murderer. And he did eventually, the rage that engulfed him when he found out it was just a vulgar thief left 16 holes in the burglar's body. Since that moment he became involved with a goverment department that hired professionals to get rid of what they called "the inconveniences". Barry knew many of the people that he killed under the Department's orders were innocent, but he didn't care, he had no one, he just wanted to be consumed by the dark abyss in his head. That was until he got consumed by the one in her eyes. There she was, walking down the halls of the Department, shinning like a beacon, her curly hair flowing, her steps firm, the scent of vanilla around her, a slight frown, a pen and a notebook between her fingers always looking for the scoop._  
_He didn't even notice how little by little his life had meaning again, he didn't want to get consumed by his darkness anymore, only by her._  
_And there they were in their secret rooftop, the distant sound of cars, the sweet touch of the cold air and her bright smile. Everything he needed, right there. And then a thunderous and heinous sound. And then silence. And then blood, oozing out of her mouth. Her yellow shirt had now a rorscharch test ingraved, her breath uneven, his heartbeat as well. And then... de_ ath.

He woke up between screams like most days, his breath uneven like once was hers, sweat dripping down his hair, tears rolling down his cheeks, and the dark abyss in his head.  
He sat on the edge of the bed, his hands grabbing his head, trying to block out the memories. A warm arm surrounded his neck and a vanilla scented head rested in his shoulder. He reached to touch her but he just ended up touching air, he knew she wasn't really there but his delusions, his memories were the only thing that kept him alive. He remained in that position for a while, until the sound of his phone startled him. It was the Department, a new "inconvenience" popped in their radar, he was requested.

*at the Department*

Captain Singh was waiting for him in his office.  
-Allen sit down. I have a new "inconvenience" for you. Our Thinker has detected a possible menace for the future of our confederation.  
-You mean this person hasn't done anything yet, right?  
-Is that a problem for you?- he said menacing.  
-You know there isn't. Just wanna know who am I killing.  
-She's from earth 1. Our Thinker has marked her as a menace but the only threatening thing we know about her is that she has interdimensional technology and works with metahumans.- Singh reaches in the drawer of his desk, pulls out a picture and hands it to Barry- That's her, Iris West.  
His face fell when he saw her. He zooned out. It was her. Her red lips, her umber skin, her eyes... her hair was a bit different, it was wavy instead of curly but still it was...her.  
-Allen! Is there a problem?  
-No sir I...  
-Okay, now go -Singh said interrumpting him.  
Barry got up, left the room and started running, he didn't stop until he reached their rooftop then out of breath with his hands gripping on the railing, he started crying. He couldn't breathe, his eyes were waterlogged and he felt like his ears were about to explode. It was then when everything when silent, he was just able to hear the faint cry of the wind. The warmth of a hand on his shoulder made him turn around. It was her, again. Haunting him.  
-Are you going to do it? - her voice calm.  
-I have to. But I don't know if i'm going to be able to take it.  
She looked at him with pity. He hated that.  
\- I don't know how am I gonna be able to see you die again... to do it myself.  
He look at her expecting an answer but she didn't mutter a word, she only put her arms around his neck, connecting their foreheads. He started crying again - I love you... I miss you - he sobbed. And she was gone, the noise from the streets reached his ears again and he made a decision.


	2. A window to the past

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Barry's already on earth 1 ready to start his work.

He was already in earth 1, he got settled in a little apartment in Infantino Street, not very far away from 'this' Iris loft.  
He revised her file; this Iris West was also a journalist and was married to a Barry Allen, apparently he went to live with Iris and her dad since his mother was murdered. " _I bet he's had a wonderful life, I wonder what would have been of my life if that were me_... " he thought. A faint smile got drawn on his lips. Once he realised how stupid was to be daydreaming about it, he frowned, puffed, shook his head and forcefully slapped the side of his face.  
He left the apartment, his hoodie up and a pair of sunglasses covering his visage. He walked the streets in hopes of finding her and ascertain her schedule. After hours of search, the cold of the evening air, the dim light of the sun and his pained feet made him sit down on a bench in a small park, in front of it there was a nice coffee shop called Jitters, he had always wanted to take Iris there, it seemed so nice and cozy, but his damned job compelled them to keep their relationship in absolute secrecy. He got closer, looked inside through the windows and there she was, one hand on her nape, the other twiddling with a pen, a cup of coffee resting on the table while the steam of it warmed her face, her eyes looking down on a notebook. He felt like his heart was being crushed, it was so strange to see her there, alive and breathing. He didn't know her and he knew it wasn't HIS Iris but still he couldn't help but love her. Something took over him and decided he was going to go inside. He didn't know what he was going to say or do, the only thing he was certain of was that he had to be close to her again. He started to walk towards the door, his eyes fixed on her, but when he was almost at the door someone stumbled against him. That made him turn around, he couldn't risk anyone recognizing him. "Oh I'm truly sorry, I didn't see you there" a familiar voice apologized. Still with his back turned he moved his arm in sign that it was okay. After a bit of hesitation the other man entered Jitters, carefully Barry looked inside. The scene he saw inmediatly brought him to tears: Iris looked up from her notebook and a big and bright smile appeared on her face, she got up and hugged the man, it was him, Barry.  
It was like looking through a window to the past, his past. Both happy, smiling, in love and completely unaware of the inminent darkness around the corner.  



	3. The perfume

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Barry visits an old friend

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the delay, but I work in a toy store and we are having some crazy days

He couldn't take it anymore. He turned around and started running until he arrived to his apartment. Desperate, he looked through his drawer, his breath erratic and his hands tremorous. Finally, he found it, a small, round and metallic wheel, courtesy from Ramon Industries, an interdimensional extrapolator. He pressed it and crossed the portal. He found himself in a narrow and dirty alleyway of earth 56, it was raining. At the end of the street there were a few steps that led to a black door, a damaged neon sign above it. He went up the stairs and knocked on it forcefully. "We're closed" a femenine voice said at the other side of the door. "It's me Cecille, it's Barry" his voice couldn't hide his desperation. The door opened, showing a beautiful, middle aged woman dressed in a silk robe. Without muttering a word he hurried inside and she closed the door, his hands fidgeted with his clothes. "What happened baby? You look awful." Her face showed a look of concern. She came closer to him and try to reach his hands with hers but he hurriedly pulled them back. "I can't tell you... it's work" he mumbled while his mind asked him why had he come back there. "It's okay honey, you don't have to tell me... come sit in the sofa and relax a bit" she made her way to the dark red sofa making sure he was following her. Once they were both sat she put one of her hands on his and the other on the nape of his neck. She looked at him with a mixture of sweetness and pity. "Do you need it?"she said softly."Do you want me to pretend to be her again?" Her words made it sound so pathetic in his ears, and maybe it was, but still he slowly nodded. She got up, opened a drawer and sprayed herself with a perfume Barry gave her a long time ago. She came back without her robe and sat on Barry's lap. She started kissing his neck, his eyes closed and his hands on her waist. She started moving her hips and his fingers digged into her skin. One of his hands crawled its way to the back of her neck and pulled away to look at her face. And there she was, his Iris looking back at him, an inquisitive look on her face "Are you going to kill her? Just how you killed my father? How you killed me?"scared he pushed her out of his lap and she fell on the ground. Cecille grunted in pain and he ran to the door "I'm sorry Cecille I shouldn't have come here" He opened the door and dissapeared into the dark alley.


	4. I'm not real

He got inside his apartment in Infantino Street and started to get ready. Once he got his Green Arrow suit on, he sat down on the sofa thinking about what he was about to do.   
He raised his gaze and looked through the window, the sun was almost set, it was time. He got up and started walking towards the door, but her voice stopped his pace. "You never loved me" he clenched his jaw and turned around to look at her "why are you doing this?" his voice weak and his eyes wet. "I'm not doing anything, I'm not real" "Well then, if you're not real, could you go away? I have to do this" "How are you going to do it? A little knife to the heart or an arrow from a far? It's going to be the arrow isn't? You coward." Every word that came out of her mouth angered him further. "Stop it" she got closer and grabbed his face to make him look at her, he huffed. "Is this all I meant to you? You fucking PSYCHOPATH!" She started to slap and hit all over his face and head. He grabbed her wrists and forcefully slammed her against the wall, his hand now on her throat. His voice trembled "She's not you" he let go of her and she fell to the ground. He grabbed the handle of the door ready to leave. "She could be" her faint voice ended the conversation. He turned the handle and left.


	5. The roof

He positioned himself in the roof of her building, waiting for her to come back home. His heart felt like it was going to stop working at any giving moment, his gloved hand fidgeted with his bow and the cold air freezed up his lungs. Before he could get too lost in his thoughts she appeared around the corner followed by E-1 Barry. He positioned himself ready to shoot. They were laughing, stumbling through the street like madmen. He couldn't help but think that that happiness was once his but now nothing remained, only the memory of his Iris that haunted him anywhere he went and that now looked at him with pity. "Stop looking at me like that" "And how do you want me to look at you? If you do this I'll leave, I won't be here for you anymore" "Why?! Why are you doing this?! I have to do it, I have no choice" with determination he fixed his target on Iris that was now at Barry's left fixing his hair. His Iris got closer and grabbed his bow arm moving it slightly "Everyone has a choice, you just have to choose right". He looked at her, tears flooding his eyes. "It's now or never" with those words she let go and dissapeared behind him. With a serious expression he looked up, took a deep breath and let go of the arrow.  
A few drops of crimson stained her face, and her mouth wide open could no emit a sound, her heart had stopped at the sight of the arrow that crossed Barry's chest. He fell to the ground and she kneeled beside him confused and scared. She started to look for her phone to call Cisco when Barry started coughing blood. She grabbed his face and tried to turn him sideways so he wouldn't choke. "Barry, Barry hold on" she grabbed her phone and pressed the button to alert Cisco. She looked up to Barry but he was already gone. She froze. Her lungs did not let her breathe. E-56 Barry looked from the roof as she screamed in agony.


	6. The promise

_Their naked bodies layed under silk blankets, the sweet warmth of the morning sun hugged their skin, her head rested on his chest while her fingers trailed the map of freckles on his neck and his hand carressed the smoothness of her upper arm. "Promise me you'll never leave me" his voice deep and sad buried on her frizzy hair. She lifted her head and looked into his eyes with a worried expresion. "I can't lose you Iris, I'll go insane. I have no one but you, and I don't want it any other way" she put her hands on either side of his face " You'll never lose me, I'll always be here... I promise"_

 

He looked at himself in the mirror, the anger he felt rising. His fist crashed onto the mirror one, two, three, four times, small shards of glass digging into his skin. He turned around, his fists and jaw clenched, his breath accelerated, he grabbed a ceramic plate that rested on a table and forcefully throwing it against the wall. "WHERE ARE YOU?!EY?!" He then proceeded to destroy every piece of furnishing he could find while screaming "I did what you told me and still you leave me! It's been two weeks! And still you haven't appeared, YOU PROMISED!" He fell to his knees, the tears flooded his face. "You promised you'll never leave me" his voice was now merely a whisper. Ever since that night on the rooftop two weeks ago his Iris hadn't appeared again and he only had three more days to deliver E-1Iris dead body to the Department. He pushed his hands into the shards of glass that fell on the floor after his tantrum. He didn't even feel pain anymore, it was like he was empty inside, he needed to feel something, he had to. He got up, wrapped his hands in bandages and prepared everything he needed to leave to Earth 56 for good. But before leaving he had to make a stop first.

He opened the door slowly, the loft was very messy and most of the lights were off. He left his bag on the floor and closed the door behind him. He heard a something break on the ground behind him, he turned around and saw E-1 Iris staring at him, a remote control shattered on the ground, her body shaking "Barry?" her voice trembled. He couldn't even get himself to mutter a word and simply nodded.


	7. Are you real?

She looked a little dishevelled, her hair was messy and her face was red and swollen, she had been crying.  
She took a few steps towards him, a look of disbelief painted on her face. "What... I... are you real? Are you really here?" He met her in the middle of the room and took her trembling hands into his bandaged ones. "I am real, I'm here" " But you were... I saw you d..." the words just kept struggling to come out of her throat. "I know, I'm so sorry I had to make you go through all of this, but I can't explain it to you yet. All I can tell you is that everything's fine now and that we're safe" a whisper came out of her lips "okay..." he nodded, took her face with his hands and rested his forehead with hers, eyes closed "I've missed you so much..." he draw back and saw tears streaming down her face, he wiped them with his thumbs. "It's okay... I'm here now and I'm not going anywhere" she smiled and hugged him, he hugged her back, burying his face in her hair, it wasn't frizzy and it didn't smell like vanilla but still it was her. When she let go he saw behind her that the sofa was covered in dishevelled blankets and a bed cushion. She saw him looking at it "I couldn't bring myself to sleep in our bed... it was too painful" he lifted her face with his hands and kissed her.  
It was a soft kiss at first but then it became more passionate. He moved one of his hands to her hips, clawing at the fabric of her sweater meanwhile her hands were lifting his t-shirt. In a quick motion he took his shirt off and hers as well. He grabbed her ass making her jump on him, legs locked around his waist. With a couple steps he got near the sofa, and dropped on it making sure he wouldn't crush her.  
He stopped and stared at her "What?" she said with a smile "I just really love you".


	8. The prickle

Their sweat coated their skin, warm breath caressed her neck, her moans and pleas were arousing whispers in his ear, his grunts on hers. She fit so well around him, just like he remembered. The scent of sex filled the room and his pace became gradually more frantic with each of his thrusts. Her fingers digged deep on his shoulder blades as her spine arched. He spent himself in her, arms hugging her tightly, his release a warm feeling in her gut.

  
  
Barry was now in the bathroom, Iris sitting on the sofa putting on her clothes

"We should go to Star labs, tell everyone you're okay but we should go to my dad's first, he hasn't been himself since... are you sure you can't tell me why you had to fake your death? I just don't get why it had to be that way... it looked so real" Silence "Barry?"

She got up and made her way up to the bathroom door, she looked inside, Barry was putting his bandages back in place and his naked torso showed multiple scars. Iris became suspicious, her heartbeat racing.

"What happened to you?" He looked at himself in tthe mirror, his brow furrowed "Why aren't you healing?" When he started walking towards her, she stepped back. He walked past her and took something from the bag he left on the floor when he entered the house.

"Barry?" Her voice trembled. "I'm sorry" he whispered. Before she could do anything he prickled her neck with a syringe, the painful liquid that mixed with her stream numbed her senses making her dizzy.

"I just can't leave without you"

She blacked out.


	9. Dimly lit

Her eyes slowly opened, the heaviness of her eyelids and the buzzing in her head making it really difficult. Luckily the room was very dimly lit. When the hammering of her brain decreased she started realizing what was around her. A bed in which she was lying on stood in the middle of the room, the head of it attached to a wall, next to the bed a small wooden nightstand and on top of it a lamp, a glass of water and her picture with barry in the park, the one she had back at home. The concrete walls had no windows in them only a closed metal-looking door and a door frame on the other side of the room which led to another compartment, a strange blue light coming out of it. She got up and run to the metal door unsuccessfully attempting to open it. After a while of trying unlocking the door she gave up and sat on the cold floor, she looke at her left and observed the blue light coming out of the other room wondering what could it be.  
  
\-----------------------------  
  
On the other side of the city, Barry nervously sat on the couch of Cecille's place. "It's okay baby, tell me what happened" said Cecille while sitting on his lap an arm around his neck. "I've done something terrible... she's back with me but I was supposed to end her life but I... just couldn't" " Wait hold on, what are you talking about?" "Captain Singh comanded me to kill Earth 1 Iris West-Allen, but I was not capable of doing it" "oh baby that's awful, but you did nothing wrong there" "I killed her husband, her Barry, and now she's confined in my basement" a nervous laugh puffed out of his mouth. Cecille's heart scaped a beat and slowly got off his lap. "Well, I'm sure you can fix this, I'm sure you didn't mean to do this things, you're a good boy" even though she had tried to sound as calm as possible the fear could be heard in her voice. He got up and stood before her towering over her little body "I'm sorry Cecille" " For what?" her voice a meer whisper "For telling you this, I was not supposed to" He moved quickly, an arm around her body pinned her arms in place and his free hand blocked her mouth and nose from oxygen. Her movements were frantic and her screams muffled, he removed his arm from her body to apply more pressure in her mouth, her nails immediatly dug on his hands that kept pressing, unfaced. Every second that passed made her nails dig with less strenght until her arms fell to her sides, limp.


	10. The blue light

Iris sat on the cold concrete floor for what it seemed like hours, her arms engulfed her bare legs trying to hold her big jersey as low as she possibly could. Trembling, she kept looking at one single spot on the floor, eyes wide open and lost in thought. She didn't know what was going on or where she was, the only thing she knew was that that man was not her husband, it could not be. Suddenly a strong thought crossed her mind "I can't live without you" those words he said right before everything went black... "Savitar" she whispered. It must be him.

A sound coming from the blue light room broke her train of thought. It was like the bubbling of water inside one of those water vending machines. She hadn't even dared to go inside, for all she knew her way out could be right there. After sitting in the same position for so many hours the stiffness in the joints of her legs made her limp a little when she got on her feet. Slowly and silently she walked towards the room. Crossing the door frame she realised there was no escape there, it was just a room like the other, but smaller and way narrower. Her gaze went to the source of the blue light. What she saw left her in a state of shock, her body freezed in place, her mouth fell wide open and her eyes filled with tears.

A big glass tank stood at the end of the room, wired to some sort of machinery. The inside of the tank had powerful blue lights that illuminated the transparent liquid that filled it, small bubbles all around glowed at an hypnotic path. Surrounded by the minuscule glowing bubbles her naked limp body floated.  
She could not believe what she was seeing, how was this possible? What was happening?  
Her hand covered her mouth and warm tears streamed down her cheeks. She got a bit closer and stumbled on a chair that was facing the tank, the only thing in the small room other than the tank. She looked up at the body. It was her, same face, same body, her hair was different though. Her face looked so peaceful illuminated by those blue lights, her body didn't. She looked down at her chest and stomach, they were covered in clean, open wounds. "You found Iris" his sad voice behind her made her jump and turn around. His tall figure stood next to the door frame. "I thought you would still be asleep... I guess earth 1 bodies tolerate our drugs better". Not being able to mutter a word she kept still, looking at him with wide eyes and heavy breathing violently moving her chest up and down. "It's okay" he extended his arm towards her, his palm upwards, his voice soft "come here".


End file.
